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30 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself

When you stop chasing the wrong things you give the right things a chance to catch you. But before you can begin this process of transformation, you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back. Here are some 30 things you need to change about yourself and live a fulfilled life:

1. Stop Spending Time With The Wrong People

Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you. If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot. Never, ever insist on someone who continuously overlooks your worth. And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.

2. Stop Running From Your Problems

Face them head-on. It won’t be easy but, there’s no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately moulds us into the person we become.

3. Stop Lying To Yourself

You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is, to be honest with ourselves.

4. Stop Putting Your Own Needs On The Back Burner

The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much and forgetting that you have your own needs too. Yes, help others; but help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.

5. Stop Trying To Be Someone You’re Not

One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, and someone will always be younger, but they will never be you. Don’t change so people will like you. Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.

6. Stop Trying To Hold Onto The Past

You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one. Forget about the past and move on.

7. Stop Being Scared To Make a Mistake

Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing. Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.

8. Stop Berating Yourself For Old Mistakes

We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.

9. Stop Trying To Buy Happiness

Many of the things we desire are expensive, but the truth is, material things do not give happiness; the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.

10. Stop Exclusively Looking To Others For Happiness

If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.

11. Stop Thinking; Act

Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate situations and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront. Making progress involves risk. Stop thinking, and do the needful – act.

12. Stop Thinking You’re Not Ready

Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises. Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first. Always be prepared for any opportunity and take advantage of it when it comes; you don’t need to have all you need to start, start with what you have and grow.

13. Stop Going Into Relationships For The Wrong Reasons

Relationships must be chosen wisely. It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush. If something is meant to be, it will happen – at the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.

14. Stop Rejecting New Relationships Just Because Old Ones Didn’t Work

In life, you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you. So, heal up and stop bleeding on those who didn’t hurt you; get up and give another relationship a chance.

15. Stop Trying To Compete Against Everyone Else

Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day. Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only. If you are opportune to meet people who are more intelligent and smarter than you are, humble yourself to learn from them rather than trying to compete with them.

16. Stop Being Jealous of Others

Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Jealousy leads to envy, strife, and bitterness. Do not at any point in your life be jealous of anyone. You are unique in your own way. You also have something that everyone wants.

17. Stop Complaining And Feeling Sorry For Yourself

Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past, you’ll often see that eventually, they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

18. Stop Holding Grudges

Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself, and learn from what has happened! Also remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. Forgive yourself of past wrongs, move on and try to do better as you live.

19. Stop Letting Others Bring You Down To Their Level

Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs. Know your circle. Surround yourself with people of the same mindset, beliefs, values, and aims. Don’t be with people who are always pessimistic and never see anything good in your plans.

20. Stop Wasting Time Explaining Yourself To Others

You don’t need to explain any of your actions to people. You’re not accountable to anyone but yourself. Just do what you know in your heart is right.

21. Stop Doing The Same Things Over And Over Without Taking a Break

The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting the same result. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly – take a break, clear your head, come back freshened, and try a new method.

22. Stop Overlooking The Beauty Of Small Moments

Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you. Appreciate every moment in your life.

23. Stop Trying To Make Things Perfect

The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. You don’t need to be perfect, just be good at what you do, and do it well and consistently. Consistency births improvement.

24. Stop Following The Path Of Least Resistance

Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. Don’t take the easy way out. Stop looking for shortcuts. Most times, shortcuts turn out to be a longer process, and you even get to miss some experiences in life that would have shaped you to be a better person. So, follow the right steps, take it slow, and you will get extraordinary results.

25. Stop Acting Like Everything is fine If It Isn’t

It’s okay to fall apart for a little while. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. Also, look for someone who’s trustworthy you can talk to. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.

26. Stop Blaming Others For Your Troubles

The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life. Be in charge of your life, accept where you got it wrong instead of passing blames, and fix it.

27. Stop Trying To Be Everything To Everyone

Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out. But making one person smile can change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus. Don’t please others at your own expense.

28. Stop Worrying Too Much

Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy. Worrying won’t solve anything, it will only lead to depression. Instead of worrying, restrategize and redirect.

29. Stop Focusing On What You Don’t Want To Happen

Focus on what you want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

30. Stop Being Ungrateful

No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.


Life is full of ups and downs, tears and laughter, thick and thin, but you can make it beautiful as you want. Do not let life’s challenges rub you off your happiness and goals, instead, navigate and use them as stepping stones to your life desires.


Written by Blessing Omoare, Temperament and Emotional Intelligence Coach.


Sophian is an alternate attribute for any member of The Sophia Club or any member of the public who shares worldviews and ideas with The Sophians.

This Post Has One Comment

  1. Victor

    Interesting red lights to think about. Thanks for the write-up.

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