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How To Be A Better Person: Secrets of The Wise

It is a noble cause to go on a search on how to be a better person. Not many people will think of becoming better in their life or behaviour.

Perhaps you are struggling with any of these issues; anger, un-forgiveness, inconsistency, procrastination, drug or alcohol abuse, sexual dysfunctional behaviours, hatred, envy, porn, or any other self-destructive behaviour -and you want to become better in life-I salute your sincerity.

In this post, I will be showing you how to become free from your negative behaviours or habits and live a happier deserving life.


How To Be A Better Person Step 1-Recognize (Self-Awareness)

The first step to becoming a better person or transforming your behaviour is awareness.

Recognizing that the behaviour you are exhibiting is not appropriate and that there could be a better way to act- is the beginning of the journey to personal transformation.

So, the first question is, what do you need to change about yourself?

To become a better person you must first recognize the behaviours or things you need to change about yourself. This is the first victory.


Step 2-See The Reward

The next step on how to be a better person is to instantly see and fall in love with a better you – a new you. This will become your biggest motivation to become a better you.

I came to that point where I realized that I was the problem. My happiness was in my hands. I realized that if I could change my negative behaviour, I could actually enjoy more peace, love, happiness, and respect.

‘If happiness was in my hands and my behaviour is the limiting factor to reaching my happiness; then I was willing to trade my negative behaviour for my Joy and happiness’!

So, if you are wondering how to be a better person, you must come to that point where you suddenly can SEE the new or future you and fall in love with it, even before you become.

The new me would be more patient, tolerant, kinder, cheerful, loving, and respectful – this picture was more appealing to me than my present self – and I became determined to achieve the new me.

Stop feeling deprived, you miss nothing quitting your bad behaviour.


Pro-activeness-The Practice That Will Change your Life

The next step on how to be a better person is to practice what I call pro-activeness.

How does that work?

Meditation would help you do just that. You would have to set aside the first and last 20minuites of your day first thing as soon as you wake up from sleep. Also, the last thing you should do before dropping off to sleep.

Here you rehearse and choose your behaviour ahead of time. Come up with scenes ahead of time and think of what you would rather do in such circumstances.

Starbucks used this method to build a successful corporation and excellent customer service business.

What would I do if someone slapped me right now?

How would I handle a cheating partner or sabotaging friends? When I am frustrated by my boss, what would be my best approach to handling the situation?

For me, the best way I began handling my negative emotions-especially anger, was to come up with some mind-changing ideas that helped me overcome my triggers.


How to Be A Better Person: Change The Beliefs That Power The Behavior

The final step to discovering how to become a better person is to recognize and change the beliefs that fuel your behaviour.

For example. When I dug deep into why I exhibited anger so often, I discovered that one of my old beliefs fueling my anger was- ‘anger helps me win’. ‘Anger means I am strong and not weak.

I realized this and changed my beliefs about anger: ‘Love is the strength to be quiet even when I am right’. ‘Forgiveness is power’ ‘Anger shows I am weak and lack self-control’- I gained control of my anger.

When I changed my beliefs about my behaviour, I realized that engaging in the behaviour became uninteresting. Hence belief is the glue that holds actions or behaviour.


In Conclusion

Here is my final thought on how to be a better person.

Forgive yourself, be kind to yourself-focus on changing yourself. I have come to realize that happiness is not really in the material things we often crave or pursue, happiness comes from being a better person.

When you act in kindness and love, portray patience and self-control, you begin to have more respect for yourself and others-this results in inner joy and peace that often money cannot buy.

Again learn to trust the universe or the divine intelligence we call God. You win more believing the universe is in your favour.

Love & Peace.

Joy Chukwumah

First published on


A Sophianus is an alternate attribute for any member of The Sophia Club or any member of the public who shares worldviews and ideas with The Sophians.

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