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Seven Worthy Premarital Counsels

Dear Man and Woman,

Now that your hearts have agreed to a lifetime union, to be bound by the ring of matrimony, this is what I have to say:

This marriage of a thing shall test the strength of the love between you two. While everyone who witnesses you taking your oath have gone about to mind their businesses, only you two shall remain, under the roof of your abode, to prove to yourself if it is lust or love that joined you together and if the stormy weather of matrimony will break or make you. If it is lust, you two may not last. If it is love, then make sure you strengthen it and become a good example to those whose love wither before they go further into the deep abode of matrimony, forever.

Victor Negro


To intending couples.

They say you can only give the best advice based on experience.

To the man, know that you are never perfect, and as such never expect your woman to be perfect. She will do below your expectations as you will also. Knowing this will save you a lot of stress.

To the woman, the most important thing a man wants is a woman that respects him; be this and you have him to yourself.

In addition, know that the attraction vibe will die off or get reduced after a few times. For some, it is after a month, and for some, it is after a year; for others may be a bit longer. Even if what attracted you to your spouse was his or her intelligence, know that one day they will do something you will feel is not as intelligent or maybe stupid in your estimation, but never get discouraged over this. Just beware; it is not the end of the world. If it is a figure and a fine face or a fine body, the attraction would not last. Just so you know.

Adedayo Beckley


Love, many say, is not enough. What if it is? Every day will not be rosy but you have to find your bliss. Understand that even in a partnership, you shouldn’t give up your individuality. It’s what makes you, you. In all, practice effective communication.

Olamide Agemo


To both. Take a deep breath. Look at each other and make sure that what attracted you to each other is something you cannot see, because if you can see it then the attraction might not be there when it’s no longer there. Soul connection runs deep. Fall in love with your souls and live happily ever after here.

Onyekachi Mansour Anyajike


Firstly, are you financially capable? Make sure you can provide your basic needs.

Secondly, be mature enough to respect boundaries and maintain calmness in arguments or advice. She may be rude in words or body language, hello, be calm still, but maintain your principles as a man.

Be intentional about your needs: what is your reason for choosing her? Did you notice her flaws? Can you tolerate it? Do you listen or do you do the talks?

How do you settle the crisis? What was the last crisis you settled? How was the process and what did you notice?

As a man in your home, be responsible. And my lady, kindly be responsible too.

After this, try and align your intuition with your reality.

Abubakar Purity Odoma


My counsel to intending couples are Respect, Sacrifice, Unconditional love, Sex and Romance, Patience and Understanding and lots more.

This is because having respect for each other is a key ingredient among couples that keeps the marriage going whereby each spouse feel valued and accepted. However, Sacrifice and Unconditional love is another spice whereby couples go to some extra positive lengths for each other, ensuring the other party is happy and solving a problem when the going gets tough. They weather the storm together and become more closer; this breeds more intimacy (sex, etc) and romance, and extra spice that keeps the sparks going.

Furthermore, Patience and Understanding are also among the most important attributes which sustain marriages. Although, there is a challenging time in every marriage, finding a way to understand and tolerate each other while the couple works on their imperfections individually, coming together to make their marriage successful – these and more are some of the key traits to ensure a happy and healthy marriage.

Clementina Uchechi


Dear Intending Couples,

Greetings from Accra.

What do I say to two lovebirds that are madly in love they want to spend their lives together?

A little?

Yeah, even little drops of water make a mighty ocean.

As love dey shack una now, dey scatter una dada, never compare your marriage with other marriages.

Believe me, you’ll be tempted to, but, don’t.

You’ll get to meet different couples in your lifetime: the lovey-dovey type, the angry-birds type, the tom-and-jerry type, etc.

Some of them you’ll pray to be like and some you’ll not near with a tent pole.

You’ll be tempted to imitate them, but, don’t.

Be you and do you.

Love in your own way, commit to your partner; you may not become the next Michelle and Barack, but, you’ll certainly enjoy your marriage, rather than endure it.

With love from Accra,

Ogochukwu Umeadi


These bits of counsel was offered by 7 members of The Sophia Club in a group chat on 5th November 2021.


Victor Negro

Founder and Visionary of The Sophia Club. He is an Author and Personal Development Specialist helping individuals become better and gain efficiency in their lives and careers. Victor created the Elevation Course that is designed to help anyone achieve long-term success starting from where they are. He authored The Way of Sophia, an introductory booklet to the character of The Sophia Club.

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